Baby Mother

Archive for January 15th, 2012

By Fred Fulcher

 Nurturing your child through their teens can be rewarding for the parents as well as their children. There is really nothing quite like the degree to which the entire family dynamic can change during these years. This can be a laborious task to overcome for all concerned. Unexpectedly, out of the blue your teen stands before you as if a stranger. You may be reluctant to offer opinions due to the disapproving feedback you get from your kids. Occasionally it seems there is a breakdown in conversation. Listen to your heart – things aren’t as bad as they might seem.

Even little children will see right through you, when you are angry about something, but take it out on them. Life is very difficult and stressful, and even more so with children, so it will take a concerted effort to not put your stress on them. One of the worst things a parent can do, is bring their work attitude back home, and put it on the children. Children will quite often believe that they did something to make you angry. When you have a problem in your own life, such as with work, take a little effort to not take it out on your children. Sometimes it is easier doing parenting when you aren’t so emotional, because inappropriate emotions don’t happen as often.

Obviously, parents that are inconsistent are doing so for various reasons. When you have a situation where the parent is almost always unpredictable, it has to do with them making a poor choice. Single parents often fall victim to this type of inconsistent parenting. Consistency is achievable by any parent that takes the time to try to be.

Consistency can replace inconsistency as long as everyday decisions are contemplated thoroughly before making them.

A common style of parenting that has been noted is that where a parent does not do much with their child. Parents of this type are usually unresponsive toward the needs of their child. On the flip side, these types of parents do not ask of much from their child. This kind of parent isn’t too involved with their child’s daily life. They aren’t bothered by any feedback or communication with their child. At times there can be neglect in this household. Usually these types of parents that aren’t involved with their children are very care free. In most cases, parents who drink a lot of alcohol will be quite reserved toward their children. Parenting during the teen years is usually shorter in duration, thankfully, because they can be highly stressful for both parents and children. Remember the good old days and some of the ways your parenting skills allowed great results with your children.

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Learning Problems in Grown Ups

By Elias Maes

 There are significantly many learning difficulties in adults, and unfortunately, they aren’t going to leave. In fact, they usually worsen when you get older. Due to the fact that some of these learning physical or mental impairments are just now starting to be fully understood, many humans who are adults now had to suffer througout school with instructors who didn’t know whether or not it was conceivable to teach a person with a struggle with learning, or what a learning issues in adults may be.

Learning troubles in older people are now more pronounced than ever before. With out educating while young, it can be hard for persons to assimilate new learning methods to avoid their learning disabilities in grown ups.

The contributors and symptoms of what makes up learning disabilities in adults is far too wide-ranging to discuss in common, and usually is not even all that crucial in the overall view of stuff. A better plan for working through learning troubles in grown ups is to think of your strengths.

For most people with learning difficulties in grown ups, its easiest to begin with things that were simple for you to know, and then to imagine the procedures that went in to learning them. For example, if you learned about the civil war in high school and can still remember close to 100% of the knowledge on that issue, consider what was going on in class while you were learning it. endeavor to shun statements such as “I had a great instructor” and pinpoint things that were actually going on the room amid that time. What games did you do? How did the instructor alternative you? Was it just something of interest for you, or was it one of those things more?

When you are a individual who has learning troubles in adults, you are also the sort of person who’s likely to not have all that many achievements. Because of this, if you can locate a number of these conditions, you are probably to notice many diverse similarities in the events. If, For instance, you’ve generally learned the best when you have read a text about the subject, then you know that reading is something that functions for you. If you have generally scrutinized in a individual setting, or done stuff in a particular way, then you have determined a strength in the way you discover.

The more strengths you could point out, the more chances you should have so that you be productive due to the fact that you will have more choices when you are required to understand one of those things fresh. merely mimic the times you were successful, whatever you might. Learning difficulties in older people will never be gone. There is no special drugs or medication plan that could take care of learning problems in grown ups.

The more examples that you can know of that involve accomplishments in learning disabilities, the more successful you are probably to be.

parenting

By Steven Griggs

 Punishment and Teenagers-Part IV

Please read the first three articles in this series to understand

what this next article covers…

To counter the anger and self-image problems of punishments, give

your teenager a chance to make it up. (This is a different approach

than what I wrote about in the previous paragraph.) One technique I

use is to allow a teen to write sentences. With smaller and younger

children, the sentences are written while in time out. Time outs will

still work with twelve year olds, but again, less and less so with teens.

Instead, let your teenager use the computer to write the sentences.

(Be careful because a computer literate teenager will use the word

processor to type one sentence, then copy and paste it over and over

until there are 500 of the same sentence, making it look like they have

spent considerable time typing. Wrong. If your teen cannot be trusted

to “serve” the time, have him or her hand-write the sentences.) The

sentences are positive, such as, “I will listen,” “I will cooperate,” or

“I will do my chores when asked,” etc. The sentences should not state

the absence of negatives, such as “I will not disobey,” “I will not yell,”

etc. The sentences should be positive and directly relate to

(be the opposite of) the negative behaviors that earned the teen the

consequence. Then, when your teenager finishes the sentences,

punishment is over. S/he gets time off for good behavior! Writing the

sentences drives home positive ideas about what to do, how to behave, etc.

and his/her future self-image is set up to better succeed by learning from

mistakes, not covering them up. Escaping time out or just the

consequences of having to write sentences minimizes the experience of

anger sooner, and sooner increases the likelihood of positive behavior.

One side comment on writing sentences–don’t worry too much about

how much time your teen spends writing. Writing sentences is supposed

to help your teen hit the “re-set” button, to think about what s/he just

did and to decide not to do that again. When your teenager “gets it,”

the punishment should soon end. Usually this occurs in direct proportion

to the perceived importance of the item, activity or space lost. Usually

the teen is glad to escape such boring tasks such as putting pen to paper

over and over, which by itself has the effect of correcting future crummy

behavior. But some kids (of all ages) will give “lip service” to the idea

of “getting it,” telling the parent s/he has learned his or her lesson just

to get out of the consequences sooner. Then, when they have escaped the

punishment or had reinstated the lost item, activity or space, they behave

poorly again, thinking they have duped the parents. As the parent, it is

your job to figure out if your teenager really “got it” and then

(and only then) allow early parole. If they try to pull the wool over your

yes, the teen gets to pay more penance, this time with a little extra time

thrown in. The older the teen, the less effective writing sentences is and

the more manipulative s/he is, trying to convince the parent of the

uselessness of the exercise, because, they “are too old for that.” Really

difficult teens will just refuse to write any sentences, so you will have to

come up with something else.

-Dr. Griggs

http://www.psychologyproductsandservices.com/page18.html

For more information about this and other articles and ebooks by this author, start with:

http://www.psychologyproductsandservices.com

For more information about the author, go to:

http://www.drgriggs.org

What To Do First When Changing Teen’s Behaviors-Part II

By Steven Griggs

 This is part II of a three part series on What To Do First When Changing

Teenager’s Behavior. Please read the first article before tackling this

one.

What To Do First When Changing Teen’s Behaviors-Part II

Here are some examples to help out.

Positive (+) Behaviors Negative (-) Behaviors

Talks Quietly Yelling

Cleans room Doesn’t clean room

Cooperates Doesn’t obey (Defiance)

Listens Ignores me or talks back

Acknowledges what I say Disrespectful (might be too

general, so break it down)

-Talks with respectful tone

-Talks to communicate

-Talks genuinely

Sits quietly Runs around too much (Hyper)

Tells the truth Lies

Communicates clearly Verbally manipulates (too

general)

-Talks about things

directly

-Articulates what’s really

on his or her mind

-Means what is said

Communicates assertively Whines

-Uses a normal or pleasant

tone of voice

Compliments others Critical of others

-Accepts others’ viewpoints

Studies Plays too many electronic games

-Reads

-Spends time with family members

Earns good grades Poor grades

Respects property Destroys things

-Treats things nicely

-Repairs broken objects

Uses words to solve conflicts Physical fighting

-Talks in a calm voice

-Uses reasoning vs. acting out

Waits, thinks, then behaves Impulsivity

Stays focused Distractible

Uses civilized language Curses

Initiates things on own Lazy (might be too general)

-Stays organized

-Finishes projects

-Stays focused

-Initiates activity

Manages mood Temper tantrums

-Gives self a time out

-Stays calmer when stressed

Thinks of others first Selfish

Does things quicker Dawdling

Tells the truth Isn’t trustworthy (too general)

-Does what he or she says

will be done

Comes home on time Ignores curfews

These are some of the many complaints and categories I hear about from

parents. There are a lot more categories and infinitely more negative

behaviors to be put in the right column. All have a positive opposite variant that goes in the left column.

Now, what do you do with “the list?” First, we’re mostly going to

work

with the list on the left side. Rank order the list; that is, think

about

which of these positive behaviors you most want or is most important.

Or,

you can look at the list on the right side and pick those negative

behaviors

that you really want to “go away.” Either will tell you which

of the many

behaviors in either column are most important. Figure out

which behavior is

number one and rank it accordingly (put a “1″ next to it…).

Choose another

to be number two; that is, which behavior is not quite as

important as the

number one behavior, but presumably is still important

enough to be number

two. Work your way down the page, creating a ranked

or prioritized list,

ending with the positive behavior that is still

positive, but relatively

speaking, least important.

In the next article, I’ll explain more about this process..

-Dr. Griggs

http://www.psychologyproductsandservices.com/page18.html

For more information about this and other articles and ebooks by this author, start with:

http://www.psychologyproductsandservices.com

For more information about the author, go to:

http://www.drgriggs.org

teenagers