Archive for April 9th, 2012
Single mom and dad have a distinctive existence altogether than mothers and fathers that have a guide for single parents who aids them to increase their children. The challenges may be higher as a single father or mother. Here are some easy suggestions to assist parent your kids.
Take advantage of offers of assist & never be afraid to ask for help. Don’t turn down those who offer to give you a break, and watch your kids, giving you the chance to get out and do something on your own.
Get them up on those offers, and come back refreshed and better able to raise your kids on your own. Just like any other human being you need a little time out now and again.
Know that you can do this! You are not the only single father or mother out there, and you don’t need a partner to properly increase your children. In addition their may be support groups in your area that cater to single dad and mom.
Relax, your kids are probably doing a lot better than you think – and you are probably doing a lot better of a job single parent dating tips than you think. Don’t stress. Stress can often lead unnecessary conflict.
Love your children with all your heart! You can’t be both a mom and a dad, but you can love your kids as much like a mom and a dad would love them together.
Enjoy your existence as being a single father or mother, because before you know it your children will be grown and you will miss these days
For more insights and further information about guide for single parents visit our site http://www.tenderbabycare.com/parenting/single-parents.html
Parenting Style – What’s Yours?
By Jill Brennan
The art of parenting has evolved over the years to the point where there are now no set styles which new parents need to adopt. However, this doesn’t stop the continued debate about which parenting style is ‘right’ for children. Is it necessary to be a firm disciplinarian in order to teach your children respect? Or is a more cooperative style that allows children to develop their own inner discipline the better way to go? Or perhaps a more permissive style is better to allow children to be free spirits before the harsh realities of life descend as they hit adulthood? This debate raises other questions like whether a parent should be a friend or a distant disciplinarian? Is there such a thing as middle ground as a friendly disciplinarian?
If you are grappling with working out the best parenting style then its time to take a deep breathe and relax. There is no ideal parenting style, there is only the parenting style that works for you and your family. That’s because you can’t decide when you are pregnant which parenting style you will adopt and then rigidly stick to it throughout your child’s life. Well, you can try doing that. But your child will test you in ways that you can’t even imagine and so a hard and fast rule maybe quickly discarded because its inadequate from the circumstances you find yourself in.
The main principle of any parenting style should be about making sure that your child know from the first day of life that they have your unconditional love. Beyond that the other building blocks for your life together will gradually take shape as your child grows up and as you grow with them. You will, however, have to work at finding a consistent parenting style that sets limits for your offspring while still responding with flexibility.
In the first days, months and even years of your child’s life you will be discovering both your and your child’s strengths and weaknesses. You will also learn what you can tolerate and what you can’t (and the things that you can’t accept may not be what you thought they would be). Many parents expect themselves to be able to satisfy all their child’s needs. However, this isn’t realistic and no parent can be everything to a child nor should a parent be a child’s total world. Children mature by gradually expanding beyond the boundaries their parents place around them for their protection. It is the parent’s responsibility to set these boundaries and then be wise enough to move them as the child grows up.
Beside love, limits and flexibility another hallmark of an effective parenting style is communication. No parent child relationship will exist without stress, strain and at times arguments and pain. If a parent endeavors to establish strong open lines of communication from the very first days of the parent child dynamic then their relationship will survive the difficult days which accompany any child’s growth into adulthood.
That communication may not always be sitting down and discussing life as this is often too intense for a child. Some parents find a common interest can provide a safe haven for getting along when times get rough. Other times it may just be making time for each other one on one. Something as simple as sharing a meal in a favorite restaurant or making time to read together can create that all important conduit for communication.
Whatever style of parenting you adopt, you would be wise to remember the one basic rule: Treat your child with the same love and respect with that you would like for yourself. Often the best way to teach is by modelling the behavior yourself.
Jill Brennan is a mother of two boisterous boys and a business owner who has developed a number of parenting strategies which have transformed her parenting style. Learning from other parents is a key part of her approach. In order for parents to more easily share their experiences and learn from each other she has set up: www.practicalparentingtips.com
Some Consequences Of Single Parenting
By Dwayne Garrett
There are a lot of consequences in being a single parent. It is not as easy as everyone imagines. There are so many issues surrounding a single parent. Some are good, but some are extremely bad. In everything that you do, there are consequences. And because being a single parent is an abnormality, society keeps a watchful eye on everything that you do.
You always have to watch your actions so that it will not have a deterrent effect on your children. You also have to have an open communication with your children so that you will always have knowledge on what is roaming inside their mind.
Since being a single parent is vulnerable to gossips, we must always be knowledgeable of what is happening around us so that it would not affect our children. The biggest consequence of being a single parent is probably its effect on the childs reputation and emotions.
In a weak foundation, the child with a single parent might notice his or her difference with other kids. If not properly talked about, he or she might start thinking that he or she is different and it may be a reason for him or her to be disturbed. As a parent, you must always remind your child that he or she is not different from others. He or she is still a normal kid, just like everybody else.
The bulk of the responsibility is thrown mostly to the parent. And honestly, it is really the parents responsibility especially during the early ages of your son and daughter. You should always remind your child about his or her status and that it should not affect him or her as a person.
As a parent, you must really be hands-on with how you take care of your children. It is a must that your presence is always felt. That you are always there to guide your kid. It is important and a must that you efficiently perform your duties and responsibilities as a parent.
Single parents must be really close to his or her child. If you concentrate more on work and leave no time for your kids, there might be a gap on your relationship and you and your kid will not be that close.
You should also show your love to your kids for they lack affection. Since you are a single parent, you should give much more love as you are filling in the shoes of both a mom and a dad.
But that is not as easy as it sounds, because you are the only one that makes it work for you and your family. Of course, you cannot do it all by yourself. Single parents are not super heroes but they are close to it.
Time is the biggest enemy of a single parent. And because of that, the biggest consequence of it is having no time to spend with your kids. As a result, you may not be close to him. Another one is because of the lack of a parent figure inside the house when you are not around, the kids might lack the value that parents teach.
Also, because of your absence, the children might not respect your authority as their parent. And at times, because of work, you might be not around during special occasions, like the kids birthday, PTA meetings, the childs recital and other kid of events that require the presence of a parent. Since you are the only working with no support, you might not be able to attend to these and may cause trouble.
A kid requires a lot of work, and if you cannot attend to your childs needs then he or she might look out for someone else. Your child might be prone to drugs and other bad deeds because of the lack of presence and attention inside the house. The child might even forget that he or she still has a parent.
You must remember it is not how long you spend your time with your kids; it is how you spend quality time with your kids. Even if you are tired from work, you must always let them feel your love. You may not always be physically present but what is important is that we instill in the values and discipline so that they would be able to face the world with the parent on the childs mind.
The most important thing is that they would understand the situation and respect you for what you are and not who you are not.
Dwayne Garrett is the author of several eBooks and popular software
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Grandparents have raised their own children, worked hard throughout their lives, survived many hardships and have more than earned the right to relax in a golden glow of retirement. However there is an increasing trend of grandparents becoming parents again, raising their children’s children, or in some cases, even their great-grandchildren. In fact, there are currently 4.5 million children being raised by grandparents in the United States alone, according to the U.S. Census Bureau. That is more children being raised by grandparents than there are children in the entire foster care system.
Whether due to financial problems, lack of stability, non-interest, or other problems on behalf of the parents, many grandparents find themselves in the unique position of raising small children in the golden years of their lives. This can prove to bring its own set of unique challenges and rewards, some more unexpected than others.
Some grandparents may feel embarrassed or hesitant to seek custody of their grandchildren in court, not wanting to go up against their own children legally. It is never an easy situation, and even though the parents of the child are seldom around, the grandparents may not wish to cause further trouble in an already troubled situation. For this reason, some grandparents may even be raising their grandchildren without full or even temporary custody rights.
Many times, this situation is unexpected and unplanned, leading to financial difficulties as well as frustration and anxiety. Many second-time parents are on a limited income or social security, which makes the situation more difficult, as there is also a tendency to want to overspend on your grandchildren. Be sure that you have a proper budget planned out and that you don’t overspend in unnecessary areas such as toys, games and activities.
Another important part of being a second-time parent is to make certain that you have a solid support system behind you. In many towns, there are special support group meetings especially for your situation. There are also many different resources available on the internet. A few of these are:
On the surface, being a grandparent raising a grandchild isn’t very much different from being a parent the first time. As with your own children, being a parent the second time requires love and caring, a firm attitude and nearly endless patience. However, raising children for the second (or third) time can also be one of the most rewarding experiences in your life.
A firm hand and discipline are also a necessity when it comes to raising grandchildren. Too many grandparents are more lenient on their grandchildren, either because the feel badly about the situation that the grandchild is in, or because they wish to correct mistakes they made with their own children. It is important to remember that all children need guidance and discipline, and that if you approach it from the standpoint of providing the best care possible, which includes being firm yet loving, you will be not only making the child’s life better but your own life easier.
It is also important to take some time to relax and enjoy the time you have with your grandchildren. Especially since most grandparents do not have a full-time job as they had with their own children, you now have plenty of time to have fun with and spend time with, your grandchildren. You are now free to enjoy spending time with them, listening to them, and helping them with homework, problem-solving, reading, or other activities.
But it is also important to realize that even grandparents need a break at times. Be sure to take time for yourself each day, away from the child/children, even if it is just a warm bath at the end of the day, or a book before bed. Make sure you have time to relax and unwind from the stresses of the day, and you may even need a few days vacation every now and then. If possible, see if there is someone trustworthy and reliable you can leave the grandchildren with for a day or two every once in a while for you to be able to re-energize and relax.
If you take things in stride, and have fun spending time with and caring for your grandchildren, you will find that being a second-time parent can be immensely enjoyable, and not just a stressful situation.
If you are a lot like my own grandmother who was left with three grandchildren to raise by herself, then I salute you. Grandparents raising grandchildren have become quite common these days. If you must know, there are over two million of you wonderful grandmas and grandpas out there who are doing a very good job in raising todays generation of kids which can be both trying and tiring. But, as my own grandmother pointed out, she would rather take care of her own grandchildren herself rather than leave us to the care of nannies who are technically, complete strangers.
Read below for some helpful tips for grandparents raising grandchildren these days. And remember, you are doing a great job at it:
It is important that you legally establish your status to your grandchildren. Most seek the advice of lawyers to find out if establishing yourself as your grandchilds legal guardian would be best.
Since you would be raising your grandchild, make sure that you have your financial status evaluated. The Internal Revenue Service can even make arrangements so that you and your grandchild can be qualified for Federal grants or tax deduction programs to give you financial support.
Is your home grandchild friendly? Make it a point to have a room or place in the house especially reserved for your grandchild.
Make an appointment with the schools in your area where you would enroll your grandchild. Be sure to explain to the teachers and officers the familys situation so they would be prepared to adjust according to what your grandchild would need.
Make sure that you are aware of your grandchilds medical history.
Take care of yourself. This new generation of children can a exhausting. And you can see the difference on the physical demands of children today compared to your own kids needs thirty years earlier. If you plan to keep up, make sure you are healthy and you have a lot of energy.
Stay strong. Not only in the physical sense but also emotionally and mentally. Always keep in mind that your grandchildren rely on you and need you. Take care of them, be involved in their activities in school, know who their friends are, and take active part in their lives.
Grandparents raising grandchildren have become all too common these days. It is important that both grandparents and grandchildren maintain a friendly and loving relationship between each other. Make memories with your grandkids and let them know they are a blessing, not a burden.