Archive for April 14th, 2012
Dating as a single parent can be tough. Do you find that your kids having a hard time accepting your dating partner, or warming up to someone you want to spend more time with? Your children may even tell you outright that they dislike the person that you are seeing. There are many well recognized reasons for why children react the way they do to someone new in your life. These can range from feeling jealous of the time you are taking away from them to be with someone new, anger toward a person they see as a poor replacement for their biological mother or father, or even a wish to try to protect you from being hurt again. The best way to handle resistance from your children is to sit down with them and take time to discuss and explore their underlying feelings.
Sometimes, one way to make an opening between your new partner and your children is for your date to spend some time alone with the child that dislikes him or her. This creates a situation where you are out of the picture and cannot be manipulated, so they actually may get along much better in your absence. By leaving out the “key” person, you are not present as the audience for the negative behavior. There may be an opening for the child to learn more about the new partner than was possible before.
It is also possible that there are some qualities about your new partner that may be difficult for your kids to accept or handle. For example, there might be a certain tone of voice that the person uses which your child is reacting to, or another habit that is offensive but which your partner doesn’t realize he or she engages in. In that case, and especially if it’s the kind of characteristic that might benefit your partner to change, it is worth making the attempt to discuss it with him or her to see if he or she is open to working on making that change. Often, people don’t realize that they can be too critical or that they tend to interrupt someone who is speaking. It takes an artful touch to point these habits out in a constructive way, and of course the person may or not be motivated to make those personality changes.
In a situation where your kids have disliked everyone you’ve ever dated, at least this demonstrates that the issue isn’t personal to your date, but rather has more to do with something related to their other parent being replaced which is bothering them. See if you can discuss this to get them to open up about their reactions. This isn’t always easy, especially for teenagers. You might start by telling them a little about your own reaction to how your parents related to each other, and let your children see how you were when you were their age, not just in your parenting role. Kids open up more when they are not spoken to in a “teacher-like” way. Talk about your own childhood a bit with them and see if this can generate a genuine conversation.
Overall, for the single parent dating again, the key is communication, either one on one between you and your child, or perhaps with the help of a therapist if you decide to spend more time with your new dating partner.
Sue Calhoun writes on dating topics all over the Web. Find some great places to meet others in the single parent dating scene at http://www.online-dating-connection.com/single-parent-dating.html.
single parent dating
Exercise is essentially important to the health of the infant. Its first exercise, of course, will be in the nurse’s arms. After a month or two, when it begins to sleep less during the day, it will delight to roll and kick about on the sofa: it will thus use its limbs freely; and this, with carrying out into the open air, is all the exercise it requires at this period. By and by, however, the child will make its first attempts to walk. Now it is important that none of the many plans which have been devised to teach a child to walk, should be adopted the go-cart, leading-strings, etc.; their tendency is mischievous; and flatness of the chest, confined lungs, distorted spine, and deformed legs, are so many evils which often originate in such practices. This is explained by the fact of the bones in infancy being comparatively soft and pliable, and if prematurely subjected by these contrivances to carry the weight of the body, they yield just like an elastic stick bending under a weight, and as a natural consequence become curved and distorted.
It is highly necessary that the young and experienced mother should recollect this fact, for the early efforts of the little one to walk are naturally viewed by her with so much delight, that she will be apt to encourage and prolong its attempts, without any thought of the mischief which they may occasion; thus many a parent has had to mourn over the deformity which she has herself created.
It may be as well here to remark, that if such distortion is timely noticed, it is capable of correction, even after evident curvature has taken place. It is to be remedied by using those means that shall invigorate the frame, and promote the child’s general health (a daily plunge into the cold bath, or sponging with cold salt water, will be found signally efficacious), and by avoiding the original cause of the distortion never allowing the child to get upon his feet. The only way to accomplish the latter intention, is to put both the legs into a large stocking; this will effectually answer this purpose, while, at the same time, it does not prevent the free and full exercise of the muscles of the legs. After some months pursuing this plan, the limbs will be found no longer deformed, the bones to have acquired firmness and the muscles strength; and the child may be permitted to get upon his feet again without any hazard of perpetuating or renewing the evil.
The best mode of teaching a child to walk, is to let it teach itself, and this it will do readily enough. It will first crawl about: this exercises every muscle in the body, does not fatigue the child, throws no weight upon the bones, but imparts vigour and strength, and is thus highly useful. After a while, having the power, it will wish to do more: it will endeavour to lift itself upon its feet by the aid of a chair, and though it fail again and again in its attempts, it will still persevere until it accomplish it. By this it learns, first, to raise itself from the floor; and secondly, to stand, but not without keeping hold of the object on which it has seized. Next it will balance itself without holding, and will proudly and laughingly show that it can stand alone. Fearful, however, as yet of moving its limbs without support, it will seize a chair or anything else near it, when it will dare to advance as far as the limits of its support will permit. This little adventure will be repeated day after day with increased exultation; when, after numerous trials, he will feel confident of his power to balance himself, and he will run alone. Now time is required for this gradual self-teaching, during which the muscles and bones become strengthened; and when at last called upon to sustain the weight of the body, are fully capable of doing so.
Exercise during childhood
When the child has acquired sufficient strength to take active exercise, he can scarcely be too much in the open air; the more he is habituated to this, the more capable will he be of bearing the vicissitudes of the climate. Children, too, should always be allowed to amuse themselves at pleasure, for they will generally take that kind and degree of exercise which is best calculated to promote the growth and development of the body. In the unrestrained indulgence of their youthful sports, every muscle of the body comes in for its share of active exercise; and free growth, vigour, and health are the result.
If, however, a child is delicate and strumous, and too feeble to take sufficient exercise on foot, and to such a constitution the respiration of a pure air and exercise are indispensable for the improvement of health, and without them all other efforts will fail, riding on a donkey or pony forms the best substitute. This kind of exercise will always be found of infinite service to delicate children; it amuses the mind, and exercises the muscles of the whole body, and yet in so gentle a manner as to induce little fatigue.
The exercises of horseback, however, are most particularly useful where there is a tendency in the constitution to pulmonary consumption, either from hereditary or accidental causes. It is here beneficial, as well through its influence on the general health, as more directly on the lungs themselves. There can be no doubt that the lungs, like the muscles of the body, acquire power and health of function by exercise. Now during a ride this is obtained, and without much fatigue to the body. The free and equable expansion of the lungs by full inspiration, necessarily takes place; this maintains their healthy structure, by keeping all the air-passages open and pervious; it prevents congestion in the pulmonary circulation, and at the same time provides more completely for the necessary chemical action on the blood, by changing, at each act of respiration, a sufficient proportion of the whole air contained in the lungs, all objects of great importance, and all capable of being promoted, more or less, by the means in question.
The minute you find out you are pregnant you know things are going to be changing, from your waist size to those little stretch marks that pop up. Stretch marks are exactly that, red or purple marks left in your skin because it has stretched. The most common areas for it to appear is the buttocks, thighs, stomach, breasts and even arms. 90 percent of all pregnant women will get them, whether they get a lot or a few depends on the body and how they are preventing them.
There are a ton of lotions out there that claim to help prevent stretch marks, such as scar serum, cocoa butter or Maderma. Make sure your skin is always moist, this helps in stretching the skin and not tearing it. There are new discoveries every day, ask your doctor what he/she recommends. Try them out yourself first and see if they work for you. This isn’t something you just put on one time during your pregnancy, you’ll have to make this a daily effort in order for it to work. That’s where most women fail, they just stop doing it.
During your pregnancy try to eat healthy and stay in shape. This can help to keep off any access weight. The recommended weight gain for the average, 25-35 healthy pregnancy is 25-35 pounds. Make sure you drink plenty of water, staying hydrated helps keep the skin healthy. The moment your skin dries out you can begin getting stretch marks.
If you’ve had one or more children your chances of getting more stretch marks will increase. Your skin has already been stretched out and you are about to do it again. Large babies and multiple babies can increase your chances of getting stretch marks too. Begin using preventing creams and lotions with vitamins A and E in them, as soon as you find out your are pregnant and try to lessen your chances of getting them.
After the pregnancy if you have any stretch marks you may still have a few stretch marks, even after all the care you took. These do fade over time, so don’t worry about the way you look. If they are unbearable to you and you’ve waited a while, you can choose to have a tummy tuck or laser removal. Make an appointment with a dermatologist to see what he/she has to tell you. You may discover that you can live with them after all.
Besides caring for your skin daily and eating right, there isn’t much you can do to prevent these beautiful pregnancy marks, however this doesn’t mean you don’t have to try. Take comfort in knowing that half the woman you know that have been pregnant probably have a mark or two, they may even have a little road map. Think about it as you’ve just been initiated into the gang of motherhood. No woman should ever feel ashamed of her stretch marks, they may not be the prettiest thing in the world but they do represent one thing…your child. Remember that the next time you are getting disgusted by them.
Part of usage counseling in Denver is going to be how to elevate healthy children both emotionally and physically. You will need to make an effort out to set your new child’s wants of being nurtured very first.
Whether you determine to adopt a young child in childhood or perhaps in infancy, several parents understand that they will must not just take part in relationship constructing with their new child but in addition to help ease the setback of past loss the child has been via as well as just about any maltreatment.
Your guidance sessions by having an experienced, capable adoption counselor will enable you to learn the different types of nurturing activities you need to include when trying to bond together with your new child.
In counselling, you will learn how to create a romantic relationship of have confidence in. Ample, intentional nurturing not only promotes this kind of goal but additionally opens up the number of choices of completing other targets. Do not abandon your child in your own home as you go upon trips overseas even for short periods of time.
Place restrictions about the hours which you spend from your new youngster. Meet the needs of the child in a manner that is sensitive.
Fussing needs to be addressed right away. During the very first months within your care, let your child rock and roll themselves to nap, get taken or sit in your clapboard any time they wants to.
Allow your child regress a little bit and also feed using a bottle rather than a cup if she or he is so willing. This is part and parcel of the process of recovery which your son or daughter may be in desperate necessity of due to earlier experiences.
Often times, toddlers who have been newly implemented have had minimum years of enjoy in their previous environments. Teach your new child that playing is enjoyable and this will furthermore enable your own toddler’s reward centers to get the stimulus it needs so seriously.
Play with your children and you can even use voice hues that are usually used with really small children if your little one seems to be regressing a little bit. This is part and parcel of the road to healing.
To find help visit Denver Counselors