Baby Mother

By Steven Griggs

 Punishment and Teenagers-Part III

Please read the previous two articles before reading this one.

This one picks up where Part II leaves off…

For example, with teens, the most attention-getting threat is to

remove one or more electronic items. The usual appliances are

cell-phones or computers, but ipods or ipads, Playstations, TV’s or

other “things” will suffice.

The next most effective punishment is to remove activities.

Younger kids also respond to this, but the message is “You’re grounded.”

The next most effective punishment is to remove space. Not

only are they grounded but they also have to stay in their room

(until its clean, organized, until their homework is done, until their

good grades return, etc.). On a side note, if you “ground” your teen

to his or her room, make sure the electronics in the room have been

neutralized… We don’t want your teen to escape into cyberspace while

supposedly serving time for misbehaving.

The above are benign punishments; meaning, there is no noxious

stimulus applied after the faulty behavior. Rather, there already was

something good on their plate, which has now been removed. As the

parent, you deliver these messages right after the behavior(s) (immediacy),

every time (consistency) and in the same way (constancy). (These are the

three contingencies, which are introduced in the ebook on Teenager’s

Behavior, linked through the website, below.) While the more tangible

positive privileges usually can be “removed” to reduce negative behaviors;

that is not the point of this exercise. The idea is to increase positive

behaviors and have the negative ones disappear without the “negatives.”

To counteract the negativity of the punishment, immediately offer your

teenager the opportunity to re-earn the item, activity or space just removed.

S/he does this by behaving well; doing the very thing you want–doing it

rather quickly, as judged by you, not them. Teens and kids of all ages do

this quickly so they can earn back what was just lost. (For very sharp

readers, you could have just threatened to take away the items, activity or

spaces to increase your teenager’s conformity. When your teen becomes

manageable again, you say something like, “Good, you just avoided losing

the _____________.” This is negative reinforcement at work–increasing

positive behavior by escaping a punishment.)

Another example of appropriate punishment is the common time out.

This still works with even mature twelve year olds, but just barely.

Increasingly, it doesn’t work with thirteen year olds or older teens,

because they already want to separate from you, so going to their room and

being separate is actually a kind of reward for them. If a time out

is used, you have to pair it with a “something lost” experience.

This could be the loss of an electronic item, or it could be serving the

time out in an unfamiliar, hence less pleasant venue, e.g., the bathroom.

-Dr. Griggs

http://www.psychologyproductsandservices.com/page18.html

For more information about this and other articles and ebooks by this author, start with:

http://www.psychologyproductsandservices.com

For more information about the author, go to:

http://www.drgriggs.org

teenagers

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